you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My liver just had a heart attack.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
