Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
