so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
