But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
