If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize