took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
