Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
