i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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