He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
