She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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