she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
