So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize