Sry I called you an 8
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
