Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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