drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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