I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
