I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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