Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
