my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
