It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
