We named our party play list daddy issues
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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