We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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