Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my being single is dangerous.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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