Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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