how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
