If i come over, it means nothing
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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