Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
