Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
