I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
