So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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