I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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