People with herpes should wear stickers.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
