If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
