based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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