So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
