I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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