the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
