just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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