in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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