At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
