using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
