I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize