it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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