The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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