Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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