OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
