Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
