**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
