My brain says no but my pants say off.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
