i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
