I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
