we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize