I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
