All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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