He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The adults are the big ones right?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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