I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize