p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
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And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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