Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
