you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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