Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
