Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize