I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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