Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
